They Invented Cars

People are mysterious creatures. Supposedly, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. It doesn’t depend where you are from; one thing is for certain, exercise is essential for every body (everybody). Of all the workouts available to humans, I prefer to run. You know, of the feet to pavement variety. Here are my top ten reasons why I choose to run:

10. Running is inexpensive. Most of the time, all that I need are a pair of shoes and shorts and a shirt. This allows me to write and not bounce, all of the checks to my exes. They live in Texas. Yee-haw!

9. If I choose to go all DB Cooper sometime in the future, I’ll be in tip top shape. I want to be prepared when I am on the lam. I hear that the arms of the law are long but I’d prefer to not find out.

8. I know the layout of my neighborhood better than anybody else. It’s truly amazing what you can find/see while running. It’s nearly impossible to see all the details while driving through residential neighborhoods at 30mph.

7. I’m trying to make chicken legs sexy. I feel like this revolution has quite the trip ahead of itself. How am I doing so far? BTW, do you ever notice that distance runners have proportionally larger heads? Maybe I am from Mars!

6. Running gives me a little caloric leeway. Hey, I like to eat. My number one food vice? Red licorice, hands down. I have the unfortunate ability to eat it by the pound and not notice.

5. I get to be alone. Don’t get me wrong, I am a super social guy. Running lets me think or lets my mind be free. Long runs are cheaper than therapy, so I’ve heard.

4. It gives me an excuse to have way too many shoes. As an overly macho guy, I need to have reasons to have a dozen plus pairs of shoes piled in my closet. Just don’t let the guys know, my street cred is at risk.

3. You ran how far today?” I continually amaze friends and family at distances covered while running. They’ll say that I don’t need to run so many miles. “They invented cars for that.”

2. I get a valid excuse to travel. I’ve raced in Seattle, Portland, Eugene, Sacramento, Long Beach, San Diego and Phoenix. Running will allow me to chill by the pool in Phoenix come January. Ah the perks!

1. Someday, my future children will think that I am a rock star. Pheidippides, Jesse Owens, Steve Prefontaine, Josh Cox and RJ Lott. We are all running legends.

-RJ Lott

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